Germans and Fussball
I will try again after just writing this post and then managing to delete the whole thing with a single key stroke which I still havent figured out how to undo. This is not getting easier. i am in Amsterdam...
Anyway, as I was saying in an incredibly funny and exciting way i went to FanFest in Hamburg and while this time round I am sure that it will be neither as funny nor as exciting, but tough shit i have had to write it twice and I am in Amsterdam. Stop reading now if you can understand this.
To Fanfest I went resplendant in my blue wife beater and Aussie flag draped regally around my shoulders. Representing as only a Kiwi can. The semifinal Deutchland vs Talentless diving Cheating bastards was going to a glorious match with the Deutch triumphing and Sam making party with all the happy Germans! For those that watched the match or havent been clinically dead for the past month the result was quite different.
I dived into the 70000 strong crowd with Amy and Moritz there to pick up the pieces once i got so drunk that i forgot how to walk in the Northern Hemisphere (it is different dont ask if you dont already know). Making friends and influencing people my German got progressively better over the course of the night i could order the right beer, chat up the bar maids (they seem to have a soft spot for retarded Australians that can barely speak English but are willing to try and communicate in German) and discuss in depth with other german supporters the intricacies of how Australia should really be playing in this semi except for some cheating bastard ref. When ever any of these conversations collapsed in a heap i just yelled "Deutchland Deustchland"and we were away again.
I decided to go to the toilet with 2 minutes of regular time to go in order to miss the rush and set myself up for the extra time. As I came out of the toilet chanting with some randoms i was bundled up by Amy and Mortiz saying we're leaving its over. Confused I followed asking questins like what the fuck is going on, where are we going, i need to get my Euro back for this Cup, what do you mean Italy scored, what do you mean Italy scored twice... Before we got to the gate it was explained to me that while I was in the toilet Italy scored and while I was asking questions they scored again. Moritz could smell a riot so we made tracks.
Where Amy and Mortiz live in Hamburg there is this awesome park across the road full of graph (photos coming soon i swear!!) and it is also the local Left Wing radical hang out point. As you could imagine there were people absolutely every where, a shitload of depressed Germans and some mighty happy Italians. At this local rallypoint some of these lefties really hate Germany ( i dont understand this but they like to live there but they just hate their country), so they started burning German flags and yelling at people, picking fights etc. Some guy in a car stopped got out to yell at a flag burner and got bottled from behind for his troubles, I thought a riot was going to start then and there but noone else seemed to mind. People were throwing bottles at cars with German flags on them and ripping them off the cars as they were going by. This was quite intense as most people know back home we love our sport but these idiots were just using it as an excuse to be shit to others. Moritz feels quite strongly about peoples right to exist peacefully so he waded into this lot to yell at one of the guys burning flags. I was not sure that this was a great idea but he was like a lion. Not soft like milk. As i was having visions of some one jumping on Moritz and me jumping on them and then generally getting the shit forcibly removed from my body he came out of it pissed off and revved up so i suggested that we go some where else and have a drink. Muchos Excitement!!
The rest of the night was reduced to a drunken haze once Amy and Moritz went home they left me in the capable hands of Laura who managed to not only get me absolutey shitfaced but also carried me home whilst remaining completely immune to my (i thought foolproof) argument that she as a pretty German girl owed me a drunken Australian lunatic at least one kiss. i mean we won the war didnt we!!??!! She was unmoved by my reasoning. Go figure. She was like a Dime - sweet chocolate on the outside but with a hard carmel heart. Go Laura you good thing!!
Come on Deutchland!!
Dont ask why these posts are out of sequence.
Anyway, as I was saying in an incredibly funny and exciting way i went to FanFest in Hamburg and while this time round I am sure that it will be neither as funny nor as exciting, but tough shit i have had to write it twice and I am in Amsterdam. Stop reading now if you can understand this.
To Fanfest I went resplendant in my blue wife beater and Aussie flag draped regally around my shoulders. Representing as only a Kiwi can. The semifinal Deutchland vs Talentless diving Cheating bastards was going to a glorious match with the Deutch triumphing and Sam making party with all the happy Germans! For those that watched the match or havent been clinically dead for the past month the result was quite different.
I dived into the 70000 strong crowd with Amy and Moritz there to pick up the pieces once i got so drunk that i forgot how to walk in the Northern Hemisphere (it is different dont ask if you dont already know). Making friends and influencing people my German got progressively better over the course of the night i could order the right beer, chat up the bar maids (they seem to have a soft spot for retarded Australians that can barely speak English but are willing to try and communicate in German) and discuss in depth with other german supporters the intricacies of how Australia should really be playing in this semi except for some cheating bastard ref. When ever any of these conversations collapsed in a heap i just yelled "Deutchland Deustchland"and we were away again.
I decided to go to the toilet with 2 minutes of regular time to go in order to miss the rush and set myself up for the extra time. As I came out of the toilet chanting with some randoms i was bundled up by Amy and Mortiz saying we're leaving its over. Confused I followed asking questins like what the fuck is going on, where are we going, i need to get my Euro back for this Cup, what do you mean Italy scored, what do you mean Italy scored twice... Before we got to the gate it was explained to me that while I was in the toilet Italy scored and while I was asking questions they scored again. Moritz could smell a riot so we made tracks.
Where Amy and Mortiz live in Hamburg there is this awesome park across the road full of graph (photos coming soon i swear!!) and it is also the local Left Wing radical hang out point. As you could imagine there were people absolutely every where, a shitload of depressed Germans and some mighty happy Italians. At this local rallypoint some of these lefties really hate Germany ( i dont understand this but they like to live there but they just hate their country), so they started burning German flags and yelling at people, picking fights etc. Some guy in a car stopped got out to yell at a flag burner and got bottled from behind for his troubles, I thought a riot was going to start then and there but noone else seemed to mind. People were throwing bottles at cars with German flags on them and ripping them off the cars as they were going by. This was quite intense as most people know back home we love our sport but these idiots were just using it as an excuse to be shit to others. Moritz feels quite strongly about peoples right to exist peacefully so he waded into this lot to yell at one of the guys burning flags. I was not sure that this was a great idea but he was like a lion. Not soft like milk. As i was having visions of some one jumping on Moritz and me jumping on them and then generally getting the shit forcibly removed from my body he came out of it pissed off and revved up so i suggested that we go some where else and have a drink. Muchos Excitement!!
The rest of the night was reduced to a drunken haze once Amy and Moritz went home they left me in the capable hands of Laura who managed to not only get me absolutey shitfaced but also carried me home whilst remaining completely immune to my (i thought foolproof) argument that she as a pretty German girl owed me a drunken Australian lunatic at least one kiss. i mean we won the war didnt we!!??!! She was unmoved by my reasoning. Go figure. She was like a Dime - sweet chocolate on the outside but with a hard carmel heart. Go Laura you good thing!!
Come on Deutchland!!
Dont ask why these posts are out of sequence.
posted by Samuel L Jazz at 7:51 AM
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